Schmidt Sting Pain Index or The Justin O. Schmidt Pain Index was
created by Justin O. Schmidt, an entomologist. Having been stung by
almost everything, Schmidt created (on his own time) an index to
compare the overall pain of insect stings on a four-point
scale.
1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral,
almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your
arm.
1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly
alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet & reaching for the
light switch.
1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare,
piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into
your cheek.
2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty,
slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a
revolving door.
2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost
irreverent. Imagine WC Fields extinguishing a cigar on your
tongue.
3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and
unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown
toenail.
3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic & burning.
Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of
Hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
4.0 Pepsis wasp: Blinding, fierce,
shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into
your bubble bath (if you get stung by one you might as well lie
down and scream).
4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain.
Like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail in your
heel.
