this is fricken hilarious 
Offside Rule for
Females (Apologies If We've Done This One
Before)
You're out shoe shopping and you notice that there are some shoes
that would go really well with that dress you've just bought.
The trouble is, another girl has spotted the reduced shoes too and
she's between you and the till.
To make matters worse, your mate's got your purse and she's busy at
the back trying on a pair of shoes.
The rules of shopping dictate that you can't barge past your
opponent, grab the shoes and wait at the front of the queue until
your friend throws you some money - that would earn you a retail
red card.
What you have to do is get your friend to throw you the purse
first, then you can barge past the other girl, grab the shoes and
clinch the deal.
(courtesy of www.football365.com)
