I love the article you shared soooo much that I can't help
commenting on the bits that caught my attention! 
Originally posted by Peppermint:
Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone).
Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound
truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married.
Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other
ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it
again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You
need a lot more. I can't agree more!
QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so
important? If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time
to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all
that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share
something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life
purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow
together, or you can grow apart. To make a marriage work, you need
to know what you want out of life.
A lifetime IS a long time... and
whilst you don't have to have similarities in EVERYTHING, I believe
that intrinsically, when it comes to things like moral values, life
goals, etc, you DO have to think on the same
wavelength.
QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts
with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of
your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly
with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust!
Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to
marry.
I really think that this is a very
very important point. If you cannot speak freely and know that your
partner will not immediately think the worst of you, you'll never
be able to enjoy full trust with him/her.
Imagine if you're in a bad mood and you say something stupid like,
'My boss is the biggest idiot in the entire universe!' and instead
of acknowledging that you had a bad day and just need to do some
harmless venting, he/she starts to think, 'Wah... such a
bad-tempered person!'
To be judged when you're just in one of your lousy moods (that'll
pass) would be a real blow. Imagine having to say 'politically
correct' things all the time, even when you're supposed to be at
home - the place in the world where you're supposed to feel safest
and most secure! 
QUESTION #3: Is he/she a someone who is a refined and sensitive
person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. i) Do they
work on personal growth on a regular basis? ii) Are they serious
about improving themselve. So, ask about your significant other:
What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?"
Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority
is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people
in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and
people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in
life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing
the right thing.
Aaahhh... this is a point that is
very very important to me! To see someone working on personal
growth. I've always felt that the mark of a good man would be his
ability to take constructive criticisms, and his willingness to
seek the advice / opinions of others. If a guy thinks too highly of
his own views to the extent that he starts to take a hard stand and
doesn't take others' viewpoint into account, I'd take that as a big
danger sign. This means that he doesn't take kindly to advice and
when trials come your way, which it will, he will be very very
obstinate and unyielding.
Also, sloth and a general lack of desire to improve onself and
explore new fields of interest, just doesn't cut it with me!
QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most
important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to
give. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or
are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure
this, think about the following: i) How do they treat people whom
they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi
drivers, etc? ii) How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they
have gratitude and appreciation? Do they show respect? If they
don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything,
you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't
do nearly as much for them! iii) Do they gossip and speak badly
about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves
others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will
eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this
person after we're married? If you cannot fully accept this person
the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In
conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less
with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you
are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to
the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you
wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself
in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
And this is why it is soooo important
to me, that my close friends approve of my guy. They know me best,
they want the best for me, and standing by the sidelines, they get
to see things sharply whereas I might have blurred vision cause I
might be seeing through rose-tinted glasses. It matters
to me what people I love and respect would say about this
guy.
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