How To Shower Like A
Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife
along the way, wave your wedding tackle and say "woohoo".
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut
to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the
mirror, scratch your balls and smell your fingers for one last
whiff.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one!)
6. Wash your face
7. Wash your armpits
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair. (Do NOT use conditioner)
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the
mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower!).
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on
the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the
whole time.
16. Dry off partially.
17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener
size.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
your girlfriend/ wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go
"Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
