the tiny pianist... muz see !!

carpe diem jur SG

The Tiny Pianist

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart!

"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender a! nd says: "Here Rub it."

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just one wish -- each person is only allowed one!"

The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

"Tell me about it!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 12inch pianist?"

**i'm sure Frust8ed will understand find dis joke very familiar ya??!! hahar !!

Yang^Guo SG

Rolling Eyes

carpe diem jur SG

another joke....

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

"Tell me all of your sins, my daughter."

"Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven
times," she says.

The priest thinks about this long and hard, and says, "Take seven lemons and
squeeze the juice into a tall glass, and drink it."

"Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?"

"No," the priest says, "but it'll wipe that smile off your face!"

carpe diem jur SG

A man and his wife are lying in bed when the husband starts caressing her
back.

"Not tonight, dear," she says. "I have an appointment with the gynecologist
tomorrow." So the husband rolls over and tries to go to sleep. A few minutes
later, he turns back and again starts caressing her back.

"Honey, stop," she says. "I told you I have to go to the gynecologist in the
morning."

"I know," he answers. "But you don't have to go to the dentist, do you?"

carpe diem jur SG

Two old men go to an escort service house. The madam asks, "What do you
want?"
They say, "Women."

She asks, "How old are you?"

They say, "90."

So she tells one of the girls to take them upstairs and put each of them in
a room with a blow-up doll. So they go upstairs and do their thing.

When they come back downstairs, the first old man asks the other, "How was
it?" The other one says, "I think she was dead, she just lay there. How was
yours?"

"I think mine was a witch."

"A witch?"

"Yeah, I bit her on the tit, so she farted and flew out the window."

Gackt247 SG

i tink my dear dear larling is running a bad fever.. brain damage le.. Laughing

Say all thing kinda lame stuff..

Patrik SG

Laughing

carpe diem jur SG

hahar !! all the weird weird emails i received mah.... so i post loh....

Gackt247 SG

Oic larling.. Laughing

Sth i learn from the army..

One of the symptoms of heat injury is talking rubbish..

So go show some concern to the fren who sent u those mails.. Mr. Green

carpe diem jur SG

Laughing
so, is it tym u show some concern for mi too???

carpe diem jur SG

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The
operation went well and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was
reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his
hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay
here. Are you covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.

"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun asked.

"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster
nun."

"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.' They are
married to God."

"Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my
brother-in-law."

Patrik SG

Laughing

Gackt247 SG

Larling.. sure.. how do u want me to express love, care n concern? Awww.. poor deprived baby.. Laughing

carpe diem jur SG

so how u gotta express ur love, care, concern?? ooh yeah, and also the monthly allowance, food allowance, wardrobe allowance, entertainment allowance, blah blah blah.... ooh ya, and also SPA allowance, spa til my skin drop... hahar !!

Gackt247 SG

Shocked

WAH!!! So high maintenance..

*pengz n die from heart attack*

carpe diem jur SG

dats oni a small section of the contract... i wun suck u dry, n worries...

*slap slap.. WAKE UP!!*

Gackt247 SG

OUCH OUCH.. tt hurts larling.. Laughing

carpe diem jur SG

dats affection of lub, larling.... u like it??

Gackt247 SG

Any form of lub lub from larling dear.. i like.. Twisted Evil