ARE U A CAVEMAN?
I have a blog. Doesn't everyone? You mean you don't? How uncool are
you? According to Merriam-Webster, "blog" was the word of the year
last year. Not having your own bIog is like not having your own
Gmail account.
What? You don't have Gmail either? My God, what are you? A caveman!
No problem. I'll send you an invite. You do have an Internet
account, right? That's a relief. What's your broadband speed? 1.5
meg? Cable? Huh? You're using dial-up? You mean, you still have a
land line? How retro. What? You're still using wires?
The horror. But you have a hand phone, right? Good, take my
picture.
Huh? You can't take pictures with your phone. Then what's the point
of having a phone? You mean you actually use a camera to take
pictures? What a concept.
Cheeeeeese! Snap! Let me see the picture. Where's the little LCD
screen on the camera? What do you mean I have to wait for the
photos to be developed? Film? Your camera uses film? I weep for
you. Next thing you'll be telling me is you listen to CDs, ha ha
ha... oh. I see. You mean.
You actually buy whole albums? I have two words for you: iPod and
download. No filler, all killer. What's this? A video cassette
recorder? You should donate it to a museum, Grandpa, along with
your eight-track cartridges and vinyl records. Tape is so last
millennium.
Is that a DVD recorder? Oh, it's just a player. What movies do you
have? Please, no LDs or heaven forbid VCDs. You got The Lord of
the Rings DVD? Cool. Wait. This is the theatrical cut! You didnt
get the special extended edition? What the hell is wrong with you?
Never mind At least you have the wide screen version. So youre not
a complete loser. Wheres the surround sound?
Oh, I see . Your entertainment centre has only two speakers. Its
okay, I am grateful that its not mono. Hmmm, theres something not
right about your TV, apart from the microscopic 36-inch curved
screen. I think it's the cathode-ray tube. No, the cathode ray tube
is working fine. The problem is your TV actually has a cathode ray
tube. I have one word and three letters for you: Plasma and
LCD.
And if you say "projection TV", I'll beat you to death with my
Nintendo DS.
Speaking of trilogies, did you see the trailer for Star Wars
Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith? No,not in the cinema. On the
web. I'll show you.
Where's your computer? Ah, that pesky cathode ray tube again. Three
words: Flat panel monitor. Ah, your mouse and keyboard -more wires.
Wireless doesn't just refer to radio any more, you know.
Get into the 21st century, man. My ears! My ears! What's that awful
screeching noise? The modem? Oh, yeah, I forgot. you're using
dial-up. How do you live like this? Like an animal? Okay, I found
the site.
I'm downloading the Star Wars trailer for you now. Judging by the
bit rate, I'd say this will take roughly 4,000 years. Forget it,
I'll Gmail you the file. By the way, did I mention I have a
blog?
taken from somewhere
