Oh Allah help me

SarahSG SG

Poignant SG

omg, this is really bad for you.

i cant offer any good advice, but i wish you all e best in your life.

TrueHeart SG

Hi Every1

I am a muslim grl 26, who married 7 mths ago and relocate to Singapore. My husband has been in Singapore for 9 years. I am a modern and intelligent grl, but I practice Islam, unlike my husband. Since we got engaged, things went bad, but I still went through with this wedding, thinking that he will be more mature and responsible after wedding, but in vain..

I was beaten for my honeymoon because he was entertaining his female flatemate and he keeps on beating me after marriage, coz I discovered a lot of things abt his past that upsets me…Over time, I got angry by just keeping everything to me..He always wants a break from me. So I went to my home country and I end up telling my parents everything. He now got angry and didn’t share the same room for more than 2 months.

Now, his parents ask me to move out and I moved out. I am alone here, I have no friends…I work, zats all..I dnt hv any family and it’s pretty difficult. I feel so disturbed; I still have strong feelings for my husband…he prefers his past life, his frds and colleagues rather than me..

I heard that his parents are portraying a bad image of me in my home country and despite every1 is telling me to move on, I dnt understand why it is so difficult. I left everyfin for him…

Plz help me…I pray and am still waiting for Allah to bring light in my life. My husband said that he shud not have been getting married as he wasn’t ready…But he was the one who wanted the wedding wen he saw me for the 1^st time…

I think that my life is a hell now,. Every1 is telling me to move on…but I cry everyday and night, I cant concentrate on my work…

Hi SarahSG,

I am sorry to hear of all the misfortunes that has happened upon you, and I hope you will not mind me replying to your post despite the fact that I am not a Muslim.

Since you are already living on your own now, and your husband is not providing for you and has been physically abusing you, you may wish to consider filing for divorce. In Singapore, Muslim women are not put at a disadvantage when it comes to divorce as compared to some other countries.

You may also wish to consider filing a police report against your husband. You need not hold back on such a man; if he has to spend time in jail for his misactions, so be it.

I will strongly suggest that you seek a professional counsellor from your religious community for help, since they will have experience with handling such matters, whereas it is likely that most of the forummers will not have any ideas on the proceedings of a Muslim divorce.

I sincerely hope that you will have a better life after leaving your heartless husband for good.

Cheers.

Hello Kitty SG

den hw cm u nt gng bk?

SarahSG SG

Larryteo SG

It's kinda sad.. Okay I will tell you what. I am not joking, take it seriously :

Be strong, threaten to report him to the police if he beats you again. The bruise marks are an evidence.

Fight back- When he scolds you, scold him back, but be prepared. Run out of your house if he suddenly holds a knife in his hand when you argue with him.

After you fight back, you will realise that you eventually hate him and will in time, want to leave him. This seems to be one of the few ways to forget this relationship.

Master -_- SG

have he said talak?

keeptouch SG

Maybe try christanity?

TrueHeart SG

Dr All

Many thks for ur advices. I didn’t go back coz I wil b more disturbed, wiz people asking me wat has happen. I am a newly married bride, who didn’t enjoy the married life at all…

Also, I dnt want my family to see me suffering, although I hv their support, they hv went thru a lot wiz my probs…at times, I want my life to end…People told me that I need to be grateful coz am not pregnant and dnt hv kids, compared to ozers, whom their husband left them wiz kids…

I really cant c light in my probs…I really dnt understd why people are so bad on this earth and y probs happen to those that believe in God and pray all the time…

I still wana stay in my Nikah but my husband doesn’t luv me…nw, I wana forget him, but it’s very difficult..despite everyfin I miss him so much…

Hi Sarah,

May I kindly know why you insist so much on staying in this Nikah? You must understand that the longer this marriage drags out, the more you will suffer in it. If you really feel that there is still some hope in this marriage, then you may wish to seek the help of an imam to try to counsel your husband.

It is pointless to endure unneeded beatings and abuses, and if you get pregnant, things will take a further downwards turn. Although you love your husband, you must also learn to think for yourself and your future as well.

Cheers.

TrueHeart SG

Maybe try christanity?

Hi keeptouch,

People who are born Muslims are not allowed to change their religion.

Cheers.

TehJarVu SG

do oredi or not?
if haven't do, can go for annulment
u will be spared filling in forms the rest of your life as "divorced"

but even if u have to bear with the stigma of being divorced
it's worth breaking away from somone who doesn't love you, who beat you, who does not treat you properly, who does not deserve to be your husband

wise up

Hello Kitty SG

den wat do u do for a livin?

Fantagf SG

You can go counselling and if necessary go Muslim court. I have a muslim friend whose husband used to ill treat her. She sought help there and was happy with the service they provide.

SarahSG SG

TrueHeart SG

Dear All

Many thks for ur reply. You not wat, I cant tell my husband anyfin. Each time I try to reason him, he wil say am insulting or judging him. I shud be a “yes” person wiz him, zen he wud consider me as a gd wife.

He even doesn’t believe that I luv him, coz he alws c fings like if I luv him, I wudnt do zis or zat…wen at then end of the day, wat I jus wanted was to hv a decent family…

He didn’t ask for talak, coz all this doesn’t mean anyfin to him, he simply said that he wana a divorce or file for separation, on the grounds that we dnt see eye to eye and hv a diff in character. It’s sad coz no 2 people fink the same. But for me, he is jus luking for excuses to b out of zis relationship.

TrueHeart, my husband is hvg the support of his parents, instead of them reasoning him, they prefer to put up wiz all that he wants…He wnt listen to anyone else…He isn’t a bad person, but jus sm1 who has gone astray coz of too much freedom, whereby nw he cant cope wiz a marriage…but by jus supporting wat he wants to do isn’t a gd fing…

Hello Kitty, I am a manager, working in town. Thks a lot to the Almighty that I secured zis job, so that I can luk after myself. Otherwise, I dnt no wat wud hv happen.

Fantagf, wer can I find a muslim court in Singapore?

Hi SarahSG,

You can read more about the Syariah Court here:

http://app.syariahcourt.gov.sg/syariah/front-end/SYCHome_E.aspx

This will be of some aid to you too:

http://app.subcourts.gov.sg/family/faq.aspx?pageid=3705

Cheers.

SarahSG SG

Larryteo SG

In the case of a divorce, you must learn from Singapore... after its divorce from Malaysia became independent and built up an affluent nation..

Bangulzai SG

hope u r ok

Herzog_Zwei SG

Heard recently that Sariah Court just changed location, make sure you got the updated address.

Bangulzai SG

moved to where