Mcdonalds: You know you don't want to.
The country's preoccupation with finding new ways to be lazy is
beginning to get to me, we want our food faster and faster while we
are getting fatter and fatter before you can even say 'Good lord,
we're turning into the Americans'.
When Mcdonalds launched its new 24 hour delivery service this
month, people went ballistic and newspaper reporters even followed
a despatch around the island during the wee hours of the morning to
cover a story on the convenience of the service.
You read about the very pregnant lady with a 4 a.m craving for
hotcakes, the graveyard shift workers who eat maccers at least
three times a week but you don't read about how long it takes for
the despatch to get there and the condition of the food when it
gets there - perhaps of course, they might be too hungry or
pregnant to care.
Having established a hiatus from Mcdonalds for a good half a year,
i've decided to treat my arteries to a boost of bad cholesterol and
dialed the delivery hotline and ordered lemon lime juice, nuggets,
an apple pie, hot fudge sundae, twister fries, two fillet o fish
burgers and a quarter pounder.
Yes, that's alot of food but i'm a big girl and big girls need all
the nourishment they can get in order to sit on you until you turn
blue.
An hour and 5 minutes later, the despatch arrives 20 minutes late.
My sundae has begun melting out of the cup. the curly fries are
soggy despite the instructions printed on my receipt that read 'PLS
SEND ASAP AND FRIES NOT TO BE SOGGY. ICE CREAM PLS DO NOT MELT.
THKS.' We can all laugh about the grammatical errors within that
sentence later.
Still, it was to be expected because prissy consumer expectations
can rarely conquer the laws of epicurean physics at this stage -
ice cream melts and fries get soggy and that's just that.
Then, he accidentally drops my drink in front of me.
Unable to scrap off the cost of one drink from my receipt, he
apologetically informs me that he will send another despatch over
with my replacement drink. 40 minutes later, the drink arrives and
when i finally get down to eating, i find out that my burger was
squashed during the journey and it looked .. pathetic.
I have a big problem with What Singaporeans call the Quarter
Pounder because it isn't really a Quarter Pounder - it is only one
third the size of a real Quarter Pounder. Why is it so tiny? Has it
been signed up by Expressions or Marie France? Has it been taking
ExTrim?
Come on, this is like the puny cheeseburger's older brother which
is essentially just a slightly bigger cheeseburger with bigger buns
and meaner onions.
Don't talk to me about portion control either, we're not the
Japanese or the French. Watching some of our population wolf down a
plate of 5 dollar char kway teow (to share) all by themselves is
good evidence that the person who came up with the Singaporean
Quarter Pounder was just plain stingy. Don't charge 3.60 for a
cheeseburger and call it a Quarter Pounder, you're just
bastardising its good name.
Even with bad service, i am not about to fire off a public forum
letter to the straits times over friggin junk food - u have
overestimated how free i really am. To prove themselves a strong
contender among other home delivery catering companies, Mcdonalds
will have to start working on its delivery service without
compromising on the condition and quality of the food. I would have
tipped like i usually do but the service just wasn't worth
it.
Until then just catch public transport or walk down to your nearest
maccers, u lazy gits.
In response to Mc's new delivery service tagline?
No. You know you don't want to.
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contact infomation:
Mcdonalds Singapore
24 hours delivery hotline: 67773777
