Past 2 days visiting. Finally. A new year for the Chinese new
year. Makes me wonder a lot of things. Today is a frustrating day
for me. I've always felt like wanting to tell someone. At least 1
person how i felt. Inside me. How i really feel about everything.
The frustration most of the time. Responsibilities and obligations.
Persuit of my own happiness. Is what i am doing right ? Most of the
time the things i do is not so right but i give myself excuses that
why i do what i gotta do and in the end justify myself. Worse thing
is , i can make the most wrong things seems right. And those around
me will stand with me. But there is a reason why i do what i do. We
all have a reason. But i believe there is a reason for ur ownself..
and there is a reason for something greater then you and i. And to
explain it is just too ... tiring. And explaining urself may
compromise some P&C . Fuked up aye.
But i cant tell anyone. You cant trust anyone with these kind of
things. Especially when it can or may be used against me now or in
the near future. There is a chinese idiom. Speaking into the well.
Even then .. its not safe. LoL!
You guys ever wonder why u have so many 'friends' or
'associates' ? Or like at a yearly gathering of some sort ,Where
everyone is here because of showing face. Everyone there. Laughing
away , eating.. talking and drinking. But there is something wrong
with the entire picture. U know some dislike you , or used to go
against you , but still can hang around you. Associate with you.
The power of money. Out front i know they will not go against me or
my immediate associates because of the benefits they scrape of us ,
and having to associate with power . I know that at any time they
can just BWAM! stabbed in the back. Its so obvious. And the most
sucky thing is , i need them . Not that i really NEED them ,
but need them as in , can be due to business relations , due to
family, due to politics, due to b.s is what i can sum it up as.
.
Anyways , a more week before i am on study leave. The feeling of
having nothing to having everthing to having nothing again. LoL!
Just rambling.. =P Besides , this CB needs to move!
Hmm...you can always rant to us here :)
The past few days have been rather hectic for me as well...I
visited more houses than ever this Chinese New Year lolz. Got to
see most of Rin's relatives le...
But now I realize visitng can be really tiring sia...tink will
conk out this evening le
