For your situation, better to hold a dinner in KL and one in
Sg. Since your pax is in-between (not big not small), use
restaurants for both venues.
I think this is the most cost effective method, rather than
shipping your Malaysian relatives over for one night's dinner.
You do not want to hold a dinner for Malaysian relatives in Sg
because the travel arrangements, logistics, accomodation, leisure
program and hosting etc. work that you will be obliged to do will
kill you! Even worse if you have a large party. So just
hold it over there where things are still cheaper than in Sg.
Not to mention if your parents are the controlling sort (and i
recall they are), they will make lots of funny requests. If I
were you, I'd just compromise on a budget, let them arrange the KL
dinner themselves, and just show up on that day.
Over in KL you only need a gown (or two) and MUA then turn up at
the restaurant.
To save some money on outfits, at the studio, have a good idea
what the overall plan will be before you negotiate a
package. They can rent you the same gown(s) for Sg and
KL use, engage MUA for both dinners, etc. Keep in mind these
additions when bargaining.
To save even more, go the DIY route - friends who are good at
makeup can help with it during one of the dinners. DIY your
own corsages, ang pow box, floral arrangements for bridal car, even
hand bouquets if you are crafty enough. Save on videographer if a
friend has a camcorder.
As for ang pow being enough to cover dinner cost, it simply
boils down to how wealthy your guests and relatives are, vs how
extravagant your dinner is. If you have many rich friends and
relatives, there is good chance of breaking even. That's
reality for you!
Even though it is supposed to be YOUR day, let's face it,
marriage is also about family, and you have to accomodate others
not only your wishes. Give and take on some matters so that
both your new beginnings in a new family is a happy one - this is
small price to pay now for a smooth, long journey.