# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his
closet for Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he
gets the information he wants.
# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck
Norris has allowed to live.
# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet
with Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
# Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only
another fist.
# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up,
hes pushing the Earth down.
# Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. too bad he never cries.
EVER"
# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch
himself in the back of the head.
# Chuck Norris hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal
Flush.
# There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold,
so he turned the sun up.
# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
# Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it
is.
# Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites
frost
# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a
DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a
Chucktatorship.
