Nope.
But you say so, wait ah. 
EDIT: Hmmm....okay lah. Sorry ah, dun really know how to comment on
stories. But one thing that came to my mind was that are you trying
to start with the point of view of different people and converge
them together? I thought you're going to narrate from one person's
point of view but it seemed to me it's not like that. 