5. Kara Thrace ("Battlestar Galactica"
2003-Present)
They said a woman couldnt be a cigar-chompin', bar-brawlin',
whiskey-chuggin' hotshot Viper pilot. Well, by "they" I mean Dirk
Benedict. Dirk, you have officially had your ass handed to
you.
In a stellar ensemble cast, Katee Sackhoff's Kara Thrace is first
among equals. It's not just that shes incredibly sexy she shares
screen time with Boomer, Six and Xena the Warrior Princess. Kara
kicks ass and takes names in every way the original Starbuck did
PLUS she's clever, bitter, loving, conflicted, and secretly paints
pictures. She's neither the stereotypical kick-ass superheroine,
nor the stereotypical kick-ass superheroine who is secretly
fragile. She's the kick ass superheroine who is secretly fragile,
but will never let that fragility take her down. Not ever.
4. Seven of Nine ("Star Trek: Voyager"
1997-2001)
Who would Annika Hansen have been if she hadn't been assimilated by
The Borg at the age of six? A big fat nobody, that's who! Well,
maybe not big and fat on a typical Federation diet, she would
have been at least Jeri Ryan-hot. But she would never have been
Seven of Nine-hot! There's nothing like a skin-tight gray jumpsuit
and a metal eyebrow to turn a guys crank.
Sure, Seven was emotionally unavailable, but that was just because
of her alien upbringing. Also, if your only choices were the "men"
of Voyager, you might choose chastity as well. Yikes. No wonder she
only hung out with the Doctor.
3. Jean Grey ("X-Men" films 2000-2006)
First lets get something straight. The real Jean Grey committed
suicide in "The Uncanny X-Men" #137 in 1980. Every issue since then
with "Jean Grey" in it is a PACK OF LIES.
That said, Famke Janssen's Jean Grey in the "X-Men" films is its
own, separate character, and that character is amazing. Call it the
superheroine who is openly, obviously, heart-breakingly fragile.
You just want to run over to her and wrap your arms around her,
even if it means, a la Brett "Lets destroy the franchise" Ratner,
she'll disperse you into millions of colored CGI chunklets. If
there's another "X-Men" movie, let's hope this time they do bring
Jean Grey back from the dead.
Oops, that was a spoiler. If you havent seen "Last Stand," dont
read that last sentence.
2. Sharon Valeri ("Battlestar Galactica"
2003-Present)
Grace Park plays three characters on BSG.
There's Athena, who the producers call Sharon and fans call
Caprica-Boomer. She's Helos wife, and mother of the Cylon Miracle
Baby. She lives on Galactica.
Then there's the one the producers call Boomer and fans call
Galactica-Boomer. She was in love with the Chief, shot Adama, and
teamed up with Caprica-Six to "save" humanity. Now she lives on a
base star.
Finally, there's Number 8, which is all the other thousands of
Sharons, who always call Athena a traitor.
And I am in love with all of them. Even the ones that would kill
me.
1. Leeloo ("The Fifth Element" 1997)
The perfect woman, the Supreme Being. That's Milla Jovovich. No,
sorry, I mean Leeloo, a.k.a. Leeloo Minai Lekatariba-Laminai-Tchaii
Ekbat De Sebat, a.k.a. The Fifth Element.
Is it the orange dreads? The pale blue-green eyes? The perfect
body? The Gaultier outfits? The adorable accent? The martial arts?
The saving the Earth from the Ultimate Evil?
Out of all the science-fiction female ass-kicking secretly-fragile
alien super-powered hotties, Leeloo is the ultimate. The perfect
prototype. The geek's ideal mate. Sigh. Too bad she doesnt
exist.
(source: Furinkan High School Kendo Club)
