I tot i shud share this extract of email exch from a
blog, since life in SG is a lil stressful. :)
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From: Richard Matthews
Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008 7.42pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Rove
Fuck you retard wy dont you shut up! he dident ask for his
gilrfriend to die so use your brain to work out how you would feel
and just fucken shutup!
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 6 Nov 2007 8.04pm
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: Rove
Thankyou for your recommendation Dick, I am currently writing a
television script that I think you would be perfect for, it
features a genius of superior wit and intellect who uses his
uncanny abilities to protect the innocent. Aided by his loyal pet,
masturbating monkey, he endeavors to right wrongs and solve crimes.
At the end of each episode he will leave us with a profound,
thought provoking and politically correct statement such as "don't
leave your pet in the car with the windows up" or "fuck you retard
wydont you shut up". An important part of the character development
as I see it, would be the developing relationship between yourself
and masturbating monkey. The show will be titled 'Monkey Dick' (a
combination of private dick and the pet monkey, similar to 'canine
cop') and I do hope you will make yourself available for this
opportunity.
From: Richard Matthews
Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008 8.17pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Rove
Fuck you coksucker you should be ashamed of what you wrote that was
wrong ad you know it How wud you feel if you were rove? why dont
you fuck off.
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008 8.42pm
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Rove
You're correct Dick, my statements were uncalled for and
unquantifiable in any manner. I apologise without reserve and ask
for nothing but your understanding. I hope, in time, you can come
to forgive me for such contemptible statements. If I could retract
my statements I would but I do not have a time machine. I wish that
I did have a time machine, I would take my Macbook Pro back to 1984
and visit Steve Jobs. After selling my laptop to him for millions I
would return to the present. I could do this several times as each
time the present technologies would have changed. It is a flawless
plan, I am sure you will agree, lacking only the availability of
time/dimension manipulation technologies.
From: Richard Matthews
Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008 9.02pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rove
That didnt even make any sense. why dont you stop wasting your time
and get a girlfriend!
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008.06pm
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rove
Thankyou for the excellent suggestion Dick, I contacted your wife
and we are now seeing eachother.
From: Richard Matthews
Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008 9.17pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: fuck off
youve obviously got no firends!
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008 9.28pm
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: fuck off
You got me Dick. You are correct, I have no friends. I am lonely
and sad. I am currently sitting in a cave by myself, sustaining
myself on beetles, powering my laptop by an ingenious array of
pulleys and flywheels constructed from small lizards and tree sap
from the local flora. I came here to escape my family, friends,
industry associates, acquaintances and the lady next door who was
spying on me, in the hope of completing my novel titled "why are
there so many dickheads messaging me?" I have made the dedication
out to you Dick and will endeavor to send you a copy once it goes
to print.
From: Richard Matthews
Date: Wednesday 7 May 2008 10.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: fuck off
Your a moron muthufuka!!!!
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 7 May 2008 11.52am
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: Re: Re: fuck off
Well done Dick, that sentence included a word containing more than
three syllables - I am assuming muthafucka to be one word in your
dimension. As I mentioned, I am currently writing a novel and would
be honored if you would concede to being the editor. I realise that
you must be in great demand, with a long list of literary
achievements and I am less than worthy of your mastery in this
area, but an opportunity such as this could simply not be passed
by. I will attach the manuscript and look forward to your positive
response.
From: Richard Matthews
Date: Wednesday 7 May 2008 2.18pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: fuck off
youve got mental problems wanker and dont call me dick. your the
dickhead!
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 7 May 2008 2.44pm
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: fuck off
Dear Dr Dick,
Thankyou for that in-depth psychoanalysis which is so accurate as
to be uncanny. As your professional diagnosis has clearly outlined,
I do indeed have mental problems. It is a degenerative disease that
causes a small part of my brain to die every time I recieve a
message from the kind of person that collects star trek dvds and
listens to Jimmy Barnes (yes, I read your profile). Little more can
be done except to write a letter to your university, in particular
your psychology and psychiatry lecturers, congratulating them on
producing such an amazing pool of talent.
Best, David