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Black_Mamba SG

I am a middle-class family. I am a roman catholic. In my family no one to help me or care for me since childhood until now 2005. I am 29 years old. From young I was never let out of house to mix around with friends or to go anywhere I want to. I was to stay at home, helping them to do housework & now 2005 I do business for them. This business start year 2004. Now Everyday I must do housework & business. I am lonely, alone. Everyday I have to listen to what my parent & brother says even now 2005, if not punishment. I feel very boring, I feel very sad, and I dont know where to go or what to do in my life? I cant go anywhere like a prison in my house. My own neighborhood place, I dont know how to go. For me is new place.

My parent & my brother will not give me money or help me. I must help myself.

I had a Surgery on my buttock - Bilateral Buttock Abscess on 01 June 2005 & out on 04 June 2005. Because of my sister wedding. My brother soon going to get marry. Me my parent will force me to go India to stay with their family. This Bilateral start on my buttock went I go to India for prayer on March, by force by my parent & my brother. I & my mom go. I sit in church in hot sun for one whole day for one week. A lot of mosquito bites. Everyday I feel very itchy, I scratch my buttock. The Bilateral start to grow, I didnt know. My mom says nothing wrong. Then I came to Singapore I still scratch my buttock until the lump grow & came very big On 30 may 2005, I cant take the pain. I had a Surgery on my buttock - Bilateral Buttock Abscess on 01 June 2005 & out on 04 June 2005. Everyday dressing at polyclinic. I cant sit down, I lie on my chest. You see so much I suffer. My parent & my brother dont care. They still want me to do business the whole day. I take my medicine, I cant sleep. My brother told me night time you sleep enough ready, you no need to sleep the whole day. For the one week, I take my medicine, I cant sleep, I must do business. But sometime I lie to my brother that I am doing business. If my mom see me sleeping, she will tell my brother & I get scolding. Went he comes home, he makes sure I finish everything until 3am or 4am. Next day wake up 9am, 11am I go clinic. Where got enough sleep. Very sleepy. So many problems. I want to find a girl friend, I dont know how where to find? Went I get a job, I am scared to work, I dont know how to get friends or handle the job. Its 17 job, I work & quit, because of their pressure on me. Some job, company close down. In my life I dont know anyone around here. My school friend, I have no contact. I was control by my parent & brother not to have friends form young age until now 2005.

I have no saving money, I dont know what is my talent or my skills. But I want to come up in life. I have no interest to go to church or reading bible. I have no interest to eat, I have no interest to living my life. I just want to end my life. Help me or I go my way. Crying or Very sad

Diehard_89 SG

relax
are you a singaporean?

maybe you should take a step back and look at your life
life is full of ups and downs and you got to accept them

i think you have thought too much

you got to learn to relax and try to widen your social circle

you will find that you are actually very fortunate liao

at least better than those handicapped people mah

so don't think that ending your life is going to solve your problem

it won't

think for your family members lor

learn to accept the situations now

don't think too much ok?

maybe you go to aunt agony

those experts can help you Wink

Black_Mamba SG

I have no one, my own aunties & uncles hate me. If I go India I will get sicker. I have aunties & uncles here in Singapore & some in India. You say better be like that, so you want my parent & my brother to bully me. How awful is this? So you want me to suffer not to improve. No one will give a son a snake went he ask for bread, or give a son poison went he ask for water. You want to poison me. Why me my friend?

Ito_^ SG

Start a savings, get a job (whether u like it or not, no choice) and move out! Its your life, there are no legal obligations on why you should do that business or listen to anyone else.

Everything else is moral bullshit, and you can basically ignore those if you are willing to commit.

Yes everything else is moral bullshit. I am willing to commit. Who will help me went I find a job.

It's so easy to say get a job & start a savings. Year 2003 I apply for part time job, full time job & contract job. For the two years I find for job, no give me a job. Then my brother saw me no job for two years then he force me to do business. The business I do, I get no money. I get treat. Life like prison. You know so boring, so lonely & there is no hobbies to do & no game to play. I ask the bloody priest for help, he doesnt want to help me. I went to CDC, SINDA, MP, no one seem to help me. I feel very helpless. Like I have a body but I can't move my hands & legs. I all time think of killing myself. Can you give me tips or clue to break free. About your www.twistedhopes.com Blog, I am not sure how to go through. This year 2005 then I use internet fully. I dont know about computer or internet. I got to use computer year 2001, once a month or not. Went I work my last job, my friend that day friend, he told me how to trick my brother to use internet. I still follow his style. Went my brother come, I swift to business job & act busy until he call me.