lai lai, i notice many people want to date my sun nu er, with
one person even proposing to her over dinner, so here is how to
apply
(REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME)
NOTE - This application is incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME:_____________________ DATE OF BIRTH: _______________
2. HEIGHT:___________ WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: ___________DRIVERS LICENSE #: _________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS: ________________CITY: _________ ZIP ______
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Yes____ No_______ If
NO, explain: ________________________________________________
7. Number of years parents married: ___________
8. DO YOU OWN A VAN? ____ A TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES OR CAMPER
SHELL? ____ WATERBED? _____ MOTORCYCLE? _____ TATOO? ____ COLOR
ALTERED HAIR? ___ (IF YES TO ANY PART OF #8, DISCONTINUE
APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "Late" mean to you?
_________________________________________________________
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DO NOT TOUCH MY GRANDDAUGHTER"
mean to you?
_________________________________________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
_________________________________________________________
12. What church do you attend? ________________ How often do you
attend? ____/ week
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother
and religious teacher? ____________
14. Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely - all answers are
confidential (That means I won't tell anyone - I promise):
A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be
wounded is in the _____________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
_____________
C. A women's place is in the __________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
____________________
E. When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is
_____________________ (NOTE: If the answer to "E" begins with a B,
T, or A, discontinue and leave the premises immediately with your
head hung low.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
_________________________
16. Do you plan to attend a religious school? _________ Which one?
____________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
_____________________ Signature (That means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write (this action will void this
application). If your application is rejected you will be notified
by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You
might want to start praying now).
