DONE-ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOTE - This application is incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME:_______ah
dee________ DATE OF BIRTH: ____8/8/198*_________
2. HEIGHT:____180cm__ WEIGHT:
__78kg__IQ:
___YES__GPA:
__+ve____
3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: __999______DRIVERS
LICENSE #: __Got
driver
BOY SCOUT RANK:____This's for
kids___________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS: _______________CITY: _________ ZIP ______
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Yes____ No_______ If
NO, explain: ________________________________________________
7. Number of years parents married: ___
30years________
8. DO YOU OWN A VAN? ____ A TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES OR CAMPER
SHELL? ____ WATERBED? _____ MOTORCYCLE? _____ TATOO? ____ COLOR
ALTERED HAIR? ___ (IF YES TO ANY PART OF #8, DISCONTINUE
APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "Late" mean to you?
__Late means
late._______________
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DO NOT TOUCH MY GRANDDAUGHTER"
mean to you? __She'll touch
me._____________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
___Too chim for
me to
understand________________________________
12. What church do you attend? __Not CH______________
How often do you attend? _None (Never sin
before)___/ week
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother
and religious teacher? _Put time put
place___________
14. Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely - all answers are
confidential (That means I won't tell anyone - I promise):
A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be
wounded is in the __Hands___________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
___Backbone______
C. A women's place is in the __shopping
centres
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
__talent__________________
E. When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is
_her_________________
(NOTE: If the answer to "E" begins with a B, T, or A, discontinue
and leave the premises immediately with your head hung low.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _No IF (Already grown
up)____
16. Do you plan to attend a religious school?
__NO_______
Which one? ____________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
___dcx__________________
Signature (That means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write (this action will void this
application). If your application is rejected you will be notified
by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You
might want to start praying now).
