lai lai, i notice many people want to date my sun nu er, with
one person even proposing to her over dinner, so here is how to
apply
(REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME)
NOTE - This application is incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME: Mr. K DATE OF BIRTH: 1k January 19kk
2. HEIGHT:174 WEIGHT: 55 IQ:200 GPA:200
3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: Secret DRIVERS LICENSE #: Secret
4. BOY SCOUT RANK: Secret
5. HOME ADDRESS: Secret CITY: Singapore ZIP: i dont zip
files, I rar them.
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Yes
7. Number of years parents married: nth got to do with you
8. DO YOU OWN A VAN? ____ A TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES OR CAMPER
SHELL? ____ WATERBED? _____ MOTORCYCLE? _____ TATOO? ____ COLOR
ALTERED HAIR? ___ (IF YES TO ANY PART OF #8, DISCONTINUE
APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "Late" mean to you? Better late
than never
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DO NOT TOUCH MY
GRANDDAUGHTER" mean to you?
Wait for her to touch me
11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
Not eating pior to ...
12. What church do you attend? None How often do you attend?
None
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother
and religious teacher? Give me a time and date.
14. Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely - all answers are
confidential (That means I won't tell anyone - I promise):
A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be
wounded is in the Head
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
back
C. A women's place is in the -i dunno-
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
my secret identity
E. When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is Face
(NOTE: If the answer to "E" begins with a B, T, or A,
discontinue and leave the premises immediately with your head hung
low.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? Super hero
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
Mr K Signature (That means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write (this action will void this
application). If your application is rejected you will be notified
by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You
might want to start praying now).
