BASED ON YOUR SUNSIGNS YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU
GET DRUNK !!
ARIES Drinking
style Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party
and sometime sdon't know when to call it a night. Their competitive
streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're
sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple
tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you
want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become
bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened
should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be
counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone
and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky
Gemini.
TAURUS Drinking style Taurus
prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow
rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a
one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who
spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers,
the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body
shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is
not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no ..
A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup,
some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar
when intoxicated.
GEMINI Drinking style Gemini's
can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so
naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to
tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and
allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state
of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the
magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is
very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order
different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may
create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and
limoncello) for their own amusement.
CANCER Drinking style Cancer
is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an
after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer
darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must
guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out
secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in
true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they
get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But
there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few
bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your
second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor
vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and
soda.
LEO Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance
-- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers
as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of
course, they're quite aware that they're the darling --Leos will be
Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because
they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed,
expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one who they
were with :-) But Leo's not the type to break rules even when
drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a
sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next
day.
VIRGO Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are
compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy
quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure
--but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down
organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully
shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the
intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they
let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly
unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink
myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the
sub genius IQ!
LIBRA Drinking style "I'm just a social
drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra
loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone.
Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set
to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little
instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room.
Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in
self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble
--including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the
evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor even blacking
out the night's events entirely. Oops!
SCORPIO Drinking style Don't
ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and
quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering
drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw
you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as
something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool
-- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total
obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals,
brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also
remember everything -- especially what you did when you were
blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
SAGITTARIUS Drinking style In vino veritas --
and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll
spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside,
Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of
serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of
Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?).
They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade
the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a
playground, or Cancun . Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue
(including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is
a brilliant booty call).
CAPRICORN Drinking style Capricorn is usually
described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty
-- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party
list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to
mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent,
powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if
they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just
like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and
they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and
enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute
groupie.
AQUARIUS Drinking style Aquarius and drinking
don't go together that well(except for water, that is). They have
an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea
while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If
they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're
too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make
perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're
usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated
drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist)
:Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding
interesting conversations with soused strangers while
sober.
PISCES Drinking style If
you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a
sign and an addictive personality --with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli
and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the
dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build
up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that?
On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether
in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start
out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for
days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you
know. ...
