* No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
* When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your
hair.
* If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
the second person.
* Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
* You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
* Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
* You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
* The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
Things kids says:
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby
sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two?
Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied
she
was so old she didn't remember anymore. Melanie said, "If you
don't
remember you just look in the back of your panties. Mine say five
to six."
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you
so
much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom
window."
BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She
tried
in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
Mom
explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for
her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know
it's me?
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups.
"Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth
cough."
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging
and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked
his
dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his
Mom
asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll
happen
with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The
man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city
but
his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James
asked:
"What happened to the flea?"
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly,
rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew.Tammy looked at her for a while and
then
asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"
