*The Ten Commandments of Marriage **
*Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, so again, are thunder and
lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you
say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage,
the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors
listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure
of one
thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts
when they
try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you
say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical,
and a
good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9. (OH SOOOOOOO TRUE!!! .... LOLOL)
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why a
wife
treats her husband like toxic waste.
Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished
