A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was
astonished to see
the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he
saw an
envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was
addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope
and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I
wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. Ive been finding real
passion with Randy and he is so nice to me.
I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his
piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the
passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have
the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy
is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?),
and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of
our relationship, don't you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true
he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me
in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and
that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll
trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get
to know your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still
trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbours
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please
sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love
you!
