Jokes to share...
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found
CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his
hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this
thing work?" Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the
machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO. As his paper disappeared
insidethe machine,"I just need one copy."
Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to
LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind
of ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't
understand what you mean. The American repeated, "What kind of -ese
are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The
American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are
you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the
Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was
he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind
of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or
monkee?"
Lesson II - Never insult anyone.
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a
French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him
out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools,
I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and
jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then
your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and
shouted
WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The
Frenchman
was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the
Russian's
turn, he did the same and shouted," VODKA" and immersed himself
into a
pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was
so
contented with his beer pool. The last is the British. He was
running
towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He
slipped
towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson III - Think twice before you say something, because
sometimes
what you say accidentally does happen.
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way
to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder
lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you
are
three, I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager
shouts, I
want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat
and
have no worries for a month. "Pfufffff, and he is gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouts, "I want to
be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails for
a
month."
Pfufffff, and he is also gone. Then it's the boss's turn, and he
says
calmly "I want these two idiots back in the office after
lunch"
Lesson IV- "Always allow the bosses to speak
first".
