APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest
authority in my life for the following
period:
Time of return
Date:
Time of departure:
NOT to exceed:
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
locations stated below, at the
stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with
other women. I shall not even speak
to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below.
I will not turn off my mobile
after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of
alcohol without first phoning for
a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol
allowance. I understand that even if
permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains
the right to be pissed off with me
the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer
Wine
Liquor
Total
Location: From: To:
Locations to be visited Location: From: To:
Location: From: To:
Females with whom conversation
is permitted
IMPORTANT STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact
permitted above, I
promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a
stripper or exotic
dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for
immediate termination of
the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in
our relationship, and I agree
its not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I
understand that this is going to cost
me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to
obtain and use my credit cards
whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an
unlimited shopping spree,
should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I
will not pick a fight with any
stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said
entity. Upon my return home, I
promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In
addition, I will refrain from waking you
up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed
like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none
compared to my BETTER half),
the above information is correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:
Request is: APPROVED DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip
below and carry at all times.
..
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the
following period of time:
Date: Time of departure: Time of return:
Signed Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:
