Frustrated, discouraged, depressed, angry, highly emo
7 more weeks. tell me how to jump from U to an A? tell me how to
jump from SSU to AAA?
i admit that i havent been the perfect student. i havent been
paying attention all the time, havent been doing work all the time.
i swear i studied. i put in the effort. i read my notes, i
memorised my stuff, i did practice prelim papers. i tried.
now my parents think i havent been studying all those last
nights out. my teachers think im stupid. people are talking about
getting As at this stage, and me, still trying to pass. my peers
think im lousy. stay back in school to study so many nights still
fail.
i dont need all these discouragement at this point. i dont feel
any motivation to work harder because i feel so alone in this
sinking ship. i want to prove everybody wrong. but my motivation
comes from myself, which is so weak and so without conviction. i
dont feel like ive gotta study because my teachers and friends and
family are behind me. no. im alone in this race with all these
skeptics just waiting for me to fall.
ive been trying since J1 last year. i swear i studied for every
exam. i already did all that i could. am i really destined to fail
and cry on the day of A level results? its not like i didnt study
you know. i tried already. or is it really not hard enough? i used
to be able to say without a doubt that i did my best and so accept
the disgusting grades, but after so many times of thinking i did my
best, and yet not performing, im starting to doubt if i really did
my best?
i know my stuff. i know the big picture, but i dont know the
tiny tiny details. i cant memorise for nuts.
i know i mustnt give up. i cannot give up. but throwing in the
towel feels so damn easy now. seeing my peers just stresses me out
even more. im scared. i often think about the day next year when i
get back my results. and i get the sinking feeling in my heart. i
cant picture myself victorious. i can only see myself crying. and
its gonna be because i did badly again, even after i did my
best.
hey there, i'm taking the A levels this year too and i can
understand how you feel. i was in this situation some months back
but now i'm feeling better already.
please don't give up at this very critical moment. i'm sure
things will all get better in time.
i don't know if this will apply to you but seriously, when i
always think "i've already tried my best.", i will
ask myself "is this really my very very best?" and push
myself on further. now i'm trying to find back the motivation which
i felt 2 years back, before O levels.
you are definitely not alone in this situation. i havent gotten
anything like A, B or C so far either. and yes, i'm aiming for As
too and like you, i won't be satisfied with anything less than an
A. but to achieve that, you have to really work hard and stop
filling ya mind with all the negative thoughts. and adding on to
what fudgester had said, instead of thinking A is almost
unattainable, trying thinking "hey, A is only 70
marks!".
there's kinda no point blaming your teachers at this point of
time. what can we do about that right now? also, usually jc will
emphasise on independent learning. and sigh, that means we've gotta
depend on ourselves and not expect our teachers to spoonfeed us
anymore. (yea, it took me damn long to digest this fact
initially.)
find friends to study with you or something, maybe? but yea,
find those who won't despise you for ya results, or else it can be
quite a demoralising experience. i'm quite sure there are friends
out there who don't judge you by results.
anyways, i'm sure we will do well in the end if we really put in
A LOT of efforts and really MUG HARD from now onwards. as long as
you have REALLY done your very best (and by that, i mean, you have
been really consistent in studying and revising and doing the work
required), the results will reflect it. and even if the results
does not meet ya expectations, you shouldn't have much regret since
you have really put in your very best. there is still time left,
though not much. change that negative mindset of yours, start
thinking positive and you are gonna make it! remember, you are what
you think! lol!
JIAYOU okay! we are all in this together! =)