Jeff Foxworthy on
Minnesota:
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
l8 inches
of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim
by,
you might live in Minnesota.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights
each Year,
because International Falls is the coldest spot in the
nation,
you might live in Minnesota.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too
Spendy", you
might live in Minnesota.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
you might
live in Minnesota.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
there, You
might live in Minnesota.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
his
forehead, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Minnesota.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Minnesota.
If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina, Shakopee ,Winton
and Ely,
you might live in Minnesota.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
you might live in Minnesota.
"Vacation" means going up north past Virginia for the weekend. You
measure
distance in hours. You know several people who have hit deer more
than once. You
often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without
flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and
venison.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them.
Where men are men and so are the women.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Zups Grocery
Store At
any given time.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road
construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
You consider Minneapolis exotic.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your Blue
spruce.
Down South to you means Iowa.
A brat is something you eat.
You go out to fish fry every Friday.
You find 0 degrees a little chilly.
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your
Minnesota friends
