Influx of visitors at the
graves
MARCH 31, 2018 MAJORIE CHIEW
The Star Online
Have you heard that you
should bring a bunch of jingling keys when you go for Qingming
prayers?
And has anyone reminded you
to visit the graves with coins in your pockets?
It is said that the keys
and coins will help you find your way home, so that you’d not lose
your way or be stranded.
Above all else, the belief
is that you must worship the Earth Deity (Tai Pak Kung in
Cantonese) first before making offerings to the dearly
departed.
If you fail to do so, you
could have trouble finding your ancestors’ graves.
Qingming or Pure Brightness
Day which falls on April 5 this year is Tomb Sweeping Day for the
Chinese. They pay respects to their departed ancestors by visiting
their graves and burning offerings. It is an important day in the
24 solar terms of the traditional Chinese calendar.
“The Chinese observe this
annual ritual to show our respect and gratitude to our departed
ancestors or loved ones,” says feng shui master Jessie Lee.
Qingming, an act of filial piety, is an occasion to gather family
members, from near and far, in remembrance of their
ancestors.
Feng shui master Louis Loh
says tomb sweeping can be done 10 days before and after the actual
Qingming Day on April 5.
Lee adds that some people
also observe Qingming two weeks before and after April
5.
Some families may need to
visit different graveyards in different locations or even states to
pay respects to their ancestors, so they do not have to adhere
strictly to a particular day within the Qingming period, says
Loh.
Although there might be
clashes for those born under certain zodiac signs on certain days,
Loh assures that they can still proceed to pray to their ancestors
at the gravesite. However, they should try not to be the first to
burn the joss sticks or light the candles.
Instead, be the last person
to do so.
But even if you do not
observe this practice, Loh says there is no need to worry as “no
major incidents will befall them”.
He reminded Chinese
families visiting their ancestral graves to pray for blessings and
protection to inspect the tombs to see if they are damaged in any
way.
In yin (burial) feng shui,
it is believed that the condition of the ancestors’ tombs and their
surroundings can affect living descendants’ wealth and
health.
As such, many Chinese
families would take remedial actions promptly to repair cracks or
damages on the tombs to protect their well-being.
Confucianism emphasises
treating our parents with filial piety, alive and
deceased.
Hence, Loh says it’s
important to bring some of the deceased’s favourite food as
offerings.
If the deceased was not a
vegetarian when he was alive, he says, it would be respectful to
not offer vegetarian meals at the grave.
“If you would like to
accumulate merits for the deceased, it would be good for you to
become a vegetarian,” adds Loh.
Lee says paying respect to
the departed sincerely is most important during Qingming. Photo:
Jessie Lee
Lee answers
some common questions on the dos and don’ts of
Qingming.
What is a
suitable time for tomb sweeping?
The transition period
between Spring/Vernal Equinox (March 20) and Rain Grain (April 20)
is a suitable time to observe Qingming.
Most people observe the
recommended period of performing their Qingming ritual two weeks
before or after the actual day of April 5 (March 26-April 19) or 10
days before and after April 5 (March 22-April 15).
So, expect busier traffic
on the highways especially during weekends when the Chinese return
to their hometowns for Qingming during this period.
Why is there
a specific period for Qingming?
“The Spring Equinox energy
of fire is ‘most balanced’ as the energy of the sun (in the day) is
balanced with that of the night.
“We want to tap into the
energy of earth, heaven and man that are in alignment. Whatever
endeavours we make will be easier and unobstructed,” said
Lee.
If there was a death in the
family that is less than a year (new tomb), the family should go
for Qingming prayers before the Spring Equinox.
What is the
best time to visit graves?
Most usually visit the
tombs as early as possible in the morning and finish their rituals
to avoid the scorching sun.
According to Chinese
astrology, the sun rises during the hour of the Rabbit (5am to
7am). However, 5am is still dark here. So, many people begin their
prayers from 7am onwards, Lee said.
In the old days, the prayer
ritual should end before 3pm. This could be because graves were
located on higher grounds and people needed time to hike down
before dark. Nowadays, people visit their late relatives’ graves
till 5pm.
Who should
pray first?
Hierarchy is important in
Chinese culture. Most people pray to their ancestors according to
seniority.
But these days, many
Chinese think that if they are sincere in paying their respects, it
doesn’t matter who they worship first. They schedule their visits
according to family members’ convenience.
Can family
members visit graves after Qingming?
Sometimes there are family
members who cannot observe Qingming during the alloted period
because they are abroad, for instance.
They can still offer
prayers in front of the ancestral tablets, or visit their departed
loved ones’ graves at a later date.
Who should
not perform Qingming at the graveyards?
Some people advise pregnant
women, young children and the sick to not visit graves during
Qingming as the yin (dark) energy (of the graves) might affect them
psychologically.
In modern memorial parks,
Lee thinks it is not an issue if pregnant women and young children
want to visit the graves.
Can
menstruating women pray at the grave?
Menstruating women should
not touch the Earth deity at the grave site out of respect for
him.
There is no taboo
restricting the holding of joss sticks and paying respects to the
ancestors.
Should you
wear bright or dark clothing?
Some elders forbid wearing
brightly coloured clothing (red or yellow) to the graves. Others
believe that people should not wear dark coloured clothes as it
would attract wandering spirits.
But Lee said that the
colour of clothes is not important, what’s more significant is
one’s sincerity of paying respect to the departed
ancestors.
Can we
perform Qingming rituals for non-relatives?
One is deemed to perform a
meritorious act if he or she perform the Qingming rituals for those
whom they have no blood ties with. Such a ritual will not have any
effects on the lineage of the person but he or she is believed to
be able to accumulate merits.
What are the
purification rituals after Qingming?
After Qingming, some
Chinese believe that they should step over a small fire to purify
themselves before entering the house.
After that, they should
take a flower bath to throughly clean themselves. Lee explains
these are precautions for peace of mind.