CPF Jokes

Seowlah SG

Retrenched Singaporean : So much money in my CPF but I got no money now even for my daily expenses.

Another Singaporean : It is like that, CPF money can see but cannot use. When you become very old then you get the money but by then you can only use the money to pay for your medical and funeral expenses.

Foreign Talent : I can take my CPF money when I return to my home country or moves on to another country.

Just Realised Singaporeans : Oh, I see I can only use my CPF money as I wish when I am no longer a Singaporean.

CPF : Hurry, we need to have an urgent meeting ! We need to discuss the rapid depletion of the CPF fund.

dechang SG

I thought when 55 years old you can start to slowly draw out money from your cpf account every month?

Current cpf rules raises the age limit to 62 years old than can draw money out?

Still not very old what..

If not use your cpf money to buy a house or do some investment lor.

Rock^Star SG

provided you are 55 years old now. By 2013, u cant withdraw a single bit unless u hit min sum of $120,000. And i read from your SIM degree thread that you're 25, that means you may probably retire in 2045? Retirement age under the PAP may probably be 70 plus by then. NTUC chief has already mentioned that the retirement age may hit 68 soon. Chances are...with HDB prices hitting $1m soon, you may never see you CPF money again.

dechang SG

So if your cpf do not have $120 000 than what happens to the money if you can't withdraw it?

Why you think so far until the year 2045?

PAP may not be the government already by than or singapore may have been conquered by another another country or even the end of the world already

DailyFreeGames.com SG

the thing is… what makes you all think PAP won’t a few years later said, need to raise the age limit again due to [insert reason here – like live longer, better medical facilities, higher salary, etc, just enter your own excuse here can do]. Slowly raise until by the time we all die, no need to give us back anything =D

dechang SG

So to solve this problem, we must make sure we vote the PAP out in the next election so that they got no chance to screw up our country anymore

DailyFreeGames.com SG

Not easy to vote PAP out simply because, as an opposition you need to pay I think $10k/pax to join in the election? But that’s not all. Even if you win, you get to control only 1 GRC, for example Sengkang. So basically, PAP divides the already so small country into many many GRCs, making it difficult for oppositions to join in. In business, this is called raising the barriers of entry, making it hard for competitors to come in, thereby giving them a monopoly. I mean how many people can throw $10k every year to play while the government side use citizens money to play… The election is quite a joke, and the barriers of entry works because as you noticed, some wards don’t even need to vote, always walk over and PAP wins automatically because there’s no opposition to contest, like I said, how many people can throw money against PAP who are highly paid ministers.

dechang SG

now life is not really that terrible so still will have many people voting for pap..

when 1 day the cost of living goes up to such an extent that it is really hard for us to continue living, than naturally more talented people will join the opposition party and they will slowly grow until they are powerful enough to defeat the pap.

or when lives become so unbearable that people decide to take the risk to organise rebellions etc to overthrow the govt..

Junyang700 SG

Joke?
Its not a joke, seriously.

dechang SG

Joke?
Its not a joke, seriously.

I suspect is fireice shift this thread to the joke forum and rename it as "cpf joke"..

Deino SG

I thought when 55 years old you can start to slowly draw out money from your cpf account every month?

Current cpf rules raises the age limit to 62 years old than can draw money out?

Still not very old what..

If not use your cpf money to buy a house or do some investment lor.

62?

The government is really fucking around with us.....

Junyang700 SG

I suspect is fireice shift this thread to the joke forum and rename it as "cpf joke"..

Oh ok...

BanguIzai SG

Junyang700 SG

Wah.. u just revived a very old long ago thread...

BanguIzai SG

Wah.. u just revived a very old long ago thread...

yup

Deino SG

now life is not really that terrible so still will have many people voting for pap..

or when lives become so unbearable that people decide to take the risk to organise rebellions etc to overthrow the govt..

The day our cost of living goes insanely high is the day we will see a country wide protest and downfall of the government. Not even our NSFs will do a thing to stop it.

Junyang700 SG

The day our cost of living goes insanely high is the day we will see a country wide protest and downfall of the government. Not even our NSFs will do a thing to stop it.

oh pls... even if there is a country wide protest today... our nsfs wun do a thing to stop it.

and you already mention country wide protest... nsfs are civillians after all.

charlize SG

SevenEleven SG

LSS: I feel rich looking at my CPF statement every month. I realistic about it.
Ppl: I feel rich looking at my toto bet slip. I’m am realistic abt it

charlize SG

LSS: I feel rich looking at my CPF statement every month. I realistic about it.
Ppl: I feel rich looking at my toto bet slip. I’m am realistic abt it

That toto bet slip could potentially be worth a million dollars.

Just enough to buy you a hdb flat next time.