The wife came home
early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very
attractive young woman. The wife was upset to say the least.
“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to
me! A faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you.
I want a divorce!”
The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can
tell you what happened.” “Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll
be the last words you’ll say to me!”
The husband began “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home,
and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down
and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into
the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and
very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days. So,
in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I
made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you were
afraid you’d put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower,
and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and
full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I
gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but
never wore because you say they were too tight. I also gave her the
underwear that was your anniversary present, which you didn’t wear
because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister
gave you for Christmas that you refused to wear just to annoy her,
and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique
and wouldn’t wear because someone at work has a pair the
same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued “She was so grateful
for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she
turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Please… do you have
anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
