1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb. Nope
2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel n e mor. Nope
3. You pat MRT and bus seats to cool them before you sit down.
Yes
4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.
Yes
5. Your wedding photos include shots of you dressed up like Louis
XIV, Michael Jackson, or Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in
Titanic. Nope
6. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an
accent. (If you’re a DJ, this happens even when you’re not speaking
to foreigners.) Nope
7. You won’t raise your voice to protest policies, but you’ll raise
your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty. Nope
8. You’re forever talking about businesses you want to set up but
will probably never get around to starting. Nope
9. You don’t know ¾ of the people attending your wedding.
Nope
10. You separate food into 2 basic groups: ‘heaty’ and ‘cooling’.
Yes
11. You’re never completely sure how many times you’ve sung the
second verse of the National Anthem. Yes
12. You think that what makes you ‘married’ is not the legal
registration but whether you’ve thrown a 12 course dinner.
Nope
13. You marry for the real estate breaks. Nope
14. You have kids for the tax advantages. Nope
15. You move to where you want your child to go to school.
Nope
16. You feel you can’t walk around naked in your own flat.
Nope
17. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but
pray they won’t wind up in Arts later on. Nope
18. You suddenly realize you’re very interested in biotech - just
like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very
interested in e-commerce, and before that, engineering, and before
that, medicine and law. Nope
19. You think being an entrepreneur is setting up a bubble
tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop right next to an
existing bubble tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop.
Nope
20. You think people are inconsiderate when they don’t leave their
table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have
every right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your
ice kachang. Nope
21. You find it impossible to make suggestions without drawing a
fishbone chart first. Nope
22. If you’re a guy, whenever you get together with your guy
friends, you invariably trade army stories. Nope
23. If you’re a girl, whenever you get together with your girl
friends, you invariably trade stories about how your stupid guy
friends are forever trading army stories.
24. You think the most important sporting event in Singapore this
year was David Beckham switching from Manchester United to Real
Madrid. Nope
25. You somehow feel that food tastes better when eaten by a
longkang. Nope
26. It actually makes a difference to you being called an ‘NSMan’
rather than a ‘Reservist’.Nope
27. You’ve eaten more times at the Esplanade than you’ve actually
seen shows there. YES
28. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush
toilets, have sex, etc. Nope
29. When you visit the Zoo, you wonder what the animals taste like.
YES
30. You feel the urge to add the suffix ‘-polis’ to everything,
viz. Biopolis, Airtropolis, Fusionopolis, Entrepolis, etc.
Nope
31. You always feel oddly hungry at 11 pm, and are willing to drive
to far away places for supper. YES
32. You meet in hotels a lot. Nope
33. Your children have a rudimentary knowledge of Tagalog or Bahasa
Indonesia. Nope
34. You work at McDonald’s when you’re old rather than young.
Nope
35. You’ll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great
lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a
parking coupon. Nope
36. Pork floss and mayonnaise on bread is a completely natural
combination to you. Nope
37. If you’re pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people
on the MRT fall asleep instantly.
38. You ask for the bill by miming a signing movement. Nope
39. You’ve started referring to foreign employees as ‘talent’
instead of ‘expatriates’. Nope
40. At the dinner table, you’re always discussing which other food
places serve better versions of what you’re eating. YES
41. You copy down licence plate numbers of cars
involved in accidents. Nope
42. You think your boyfriend doesn’t really love you unless he
gives you part of his liver.
Nope
43. During sales, you book hotel rooms near malls to enable you
to shop more efficiently. Nope
44. You pronounce the letter ‘R’ as ‘ah-rer’ and the letter ‘H’ as
‘haytch’. Nope
45. No matter how old you are, you keep associating people with
their secondary schools. (alternative: No matter how old you are,
you secretly need to know what other people got for their PSLE, O
levels and A levels.) Nope
46. You’re always on a quest for the definitive version of your
favourite local dish. YES
47. When you explain things to people, you keep (a) using
alphabets, and (b) speaking in point form. Yes
48. You believe that you can generate ‘creativity’ through rules
and committees. Nope
49. You ‘chope’ a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.
Nope
50. You’re very forthright with your criticisms of the Gahmen,
unless there’s a chance they might actually hear you. Nope
51. You diligently track the whereabouts of your favourite hawkers,
i.e..you know that the famous Tiong Bahru Bao is now in Jurong, the
famous Outram Char Kuay Teow is now in Hong Lim Centre and the
famous Lau Hock Kien Hokkien mee from the old Lau Pa Sat is now at
Beach Road. YES
52. Your mother probably can’t speak your ‘mother tongue’.
Nope
53. You’d rather drink your own pee than pay someone more for
water. Nope
54. You secretly find that the best part of the Speak Good English
Movement is hearing the Singlish bits in their ads. Nope
55. You have an automatic sensor in your head which categorizes
people you meet into stayer/ quitter, cosmopolitan/heartlander,
normal/ express/ gifted, etc. yes
56. You think we’re living in a modern, sophisticated country even
when our leaders still insist on wearing their school uniforms.
Nope
57. You wish your constituency is in a walkover, because otherwise
it’s damn ‘leceh’.
Nope
58. During elections, you decide that there is no credible
opposition even though you don’t know the name of the opposition
candidate in your constituency.
Nope
59. You think having a constitution is like the condition you get
when you don’t eat enough fibre. Nope
60. You can never quite remember what “the core values” of
Singaporeans are. YES
