A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he
sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A
nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean
spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed: "Do all
the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"
The waiter replied: "Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert
visited our restaurant. He determined that 17.8% of our diners
knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we
save trips to the kitchen."
The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he
commented: "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a
string hanging from your fly?"
The waiter replied: "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same
Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our
hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string
is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string,
do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself,
there really is no need to wash my hands. It saves a lot of
time."
"Wait a minute," said the diner. "How do you get your penis back
in your pants?"
"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the
spoon."
