A gentleman died and arrived in hell. He was met by the Devil
and was told that in the new kinder gentler hell, each person is
offered three choices of torture. The Devil explained that these
tortures run in 1000 year cycles and you could pick which cycle in
which to begin.
So the Devil took the man to the first room where a man was hung up
by his feet and was being whipped with chains. The man said he did
not think he fancied that.
They proceeded to the next room where a man was hung up by his arms
and was being slashed by a pen knive. The man also declined this
form of torture.
The third room had a man strapped to the wall naked and a very
beautiful young blonde woman was performing oral sex upon him. The
man told the Devil this is more like it, and this was the one he
wanted.
The Devil said, "Are you sure? It lasts for 1000 years." The man
assured him that this was the punishment he wanted.
So the Devil walked over to the young woman and said, "You can go
now. I've found your replacement."
