A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to
the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached
her and asked, "Mrs. Buford, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Buford, do you know the defense
attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And
he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted,
he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with
menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in
jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"
