There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC
will crash.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris
to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of
what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris email adress is [email protected].
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim
through land.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides
it.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the
giraffe was created.
People have near-death experiences. Death has
Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris has been on Mars, that's why there is no
life there.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart
lost.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. now they are
pregnant.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns
Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris makes onions CRY!!!
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks
his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping
pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and
was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of
everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to
stop.
Obama said: "I am the president of the United States,
the most powerful country in the world!" And promptly recieved
a seat on the left of god.
Fox said: "Let's face it, I am sexier than the
rest the the human world combined." And got herself a seat right of
god.
Pissed, Chuck Norris said: "Just get the fucking
hell out of my chair so i can sit down already!".
