140 Million Iraqis and 1 Blonde
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. Dick
Cheney walks over and says, "What are you guys doing in
here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".
And Cheney says, "Really? How do you plan to pull that off?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time
and one blonde with big tits."
Cheney exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with
big tits?"
Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you he wouldn't worry
about the 140 million Iraqis!"
In The Casket
3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an
orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and
friends and family aremourning upon you, what would you like to
hear them say about you?
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a
great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful
husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our
children oftomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say......LOOK,
HE'S MOVING!!!!!"
4 Nuns & a Tv
4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she
wanted to watch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the
sexy Shawn Michelson WWF. The third nun said she wanted to watch
the knitting channel so shecan knit some mittens for the kitchen.
The fourth nun said she wanted to watch the discovery channel on
how a baby is born. After some dicussion, they all decided to flip
channels every 2 seconds so they can watch the same things. This is
what is sounded like: And they're off! They're on top of each
other! In...Out...In...Out...and yes, the baby is born!
Ouch!
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his
cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense
pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to
himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the
hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing
him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now,"
she said, "if only I could find my gerbil."
