Joke 1
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver
says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down,
fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver
just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there
and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
Joke 2
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to
insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your
mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what
the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I
SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re
drunk.”
Joke 3
A doctor says to his patient, “I have
bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24
hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the
patient. “How can the news possibly be
worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying
to contact you since yesterday.”
