We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we
did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4
horsepower."
I responded that 1/2 is larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's
not.
"Four is larger than two.."
We did not use Sears repair since.
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My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "you gave me too much money."
I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar
bill back."
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my
request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry
but we could not do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McDo especially if they are
blonde.
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I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the DEER
CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
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My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
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I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
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The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street.
I was crossing with a newly-hired Blonde coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?!"
