The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer
an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement, a
bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between
any two
points on his body. The officer got to choose what those two points
would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the
top of his
head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a
bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to
be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
who, when
asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of
my weenie to
my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
reconsider, explaining
about the nice big checks that the previous two officers had
received. But the
old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing
the
measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em,"
which he
did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
Chief's
weenie and began to work back.
"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your
testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."
