Here's the remake of a pretty old one...
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a
girlfriend.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So
I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too
emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen,
cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a
girl with stability.
When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring.
She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some
excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up
with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on
anything. She did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as
often as she made me happy. She was great fun initially and very
energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some
real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet
planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious
that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now 40, and am looking for a woman with very big
breasts.