I was in a supermarket buying a large bag of food for my dog and
was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog........ Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was
starting to diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms. I had her complete
attention.
I went on-and-on with the bogus diet story and she was totally
buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and
that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with dog
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The
package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me
and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no...I'd stopped in the middle of the street to lick my butt
when a speeding car hit me.