1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick
or a good memory.. I don’t remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she
objects.
4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ’No hard
feelings….’
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive
to men - ‘don’t’ and ’stop’, unless they are used
together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the
best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly,
Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it is lack
of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a
good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer
were too small..
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with
the enemy.
13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the
Thing……
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans
life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make
eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
