A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends
$5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he
stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind
me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says happily.
A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the
order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess
that you're 29?"
"Nope, I am actually 47." He's starting to feel really good about
himself.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same
question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when
I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put
my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I
will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and
let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are
47,"
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do
that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's".
