A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be
admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see
if the guy is worthy.
St. Peter goes through the Book several times, furrows his brow and
says to the guy, 'You know, I can't see that you ever did anything
really bad in your life, but you never did anything really good
either. If you can point to even one REALLY GOOD DEED - you're
in.'
The guy thinks for a moment and says, 'Yeah, there was this one
time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant group of
thugs assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what
was going on and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em
harassing this terrified young woman.
Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my
trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a
studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his
ear. As I walked up to the leader, the thugs formed a circle around
me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him
over the head with the tire iron. Layed him out. Then I turned and
yelled at the rest of them, 'Leave this poor innocent girl alone!
You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I
teach you all a lesson in pain!''
St. Peter, impressed, says, 'Really? When did this happen?'
'Oh, about five minutes ago.'
