1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good
memory. I don't remember what I chose.
2. Consider your birth certificate as an apology letter from the
condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she
objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing
on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try
Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Great news . . . Virginity can be cured !!!
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too
small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the
enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French
kiss, only down under.
14. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the
wife doesn't want to.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many
men still sleep with their wives!!
