1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to
hold them while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
by using the
shower.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
use a
timer.
4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be
afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn’t move
and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the
duct tape.
No trees were killed in the sending of this message.
However, a large number
of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.