I have a dog. Its name is Sex.
One day Sex ran away.
As I live in Gelyang, I went around the area looking
for my dog.
One of the prostitutes there asked me what I was
looking for.
I said I was looking for Sex.
She said she is good for sex.
I tried to explain that I am looking for Sex, my
dog
She said I must be sick in the mind for wanting sex
with a dog.
Next I met a policeman. I felt a bit relieve thinking
that he might help he look for my dog.
He asked me what I was doing there.
I told him I was looking for Sex.
He tried to arrest me saying that the prostitutes on
the streets were illegal.
I tried to explain to him that I was not looking for
prostitutes, I was looking for Sex.
He told me that is what most of the Ah Peks say when
they were arrested too.
I had to spend a night in jail.
Eventually, Sex came back on its own.
The next time Sex got me in trouble is when I was about
to get married.
My and my fiancée have always wanted to be married in a
church.
Since my dog is very important to us, we also wanted it
to be in the church with us but our church usually do not allow
dogs inside.
So we had a talk with our pastor. I said “Pastor,
please allow us to have Sex in the church on our wedding day.”
The pastor refused.
As all my friends and family are also very close with
my dog, I tried to convince the pastor again by saying “Please
pastor, all my friends and family would like to have Sex in the
church during our wedding ceremony too.”
In the end, I had to have the wedding reception in ROM
and I am not allowed back into the church.
After a few years, me and my wife decide to get
divorce. One thing we cannot bear to part with is my dog. In the
end, we went to court to gain custody of the dog. The judge gave my
dog to my wife. I tried to tell the judge that I had Sex since
before I was married. The judge said a lot of people practice
premarital sex now a days. I told the judge “You do not understand,
Sex is mine not my wife’s.” The judge said he cannot legally stop
my wife from having sex even if we are still married. I said “No,
you still do not understand. I had had Sex since I was a very small
little boy.” The judge said I am not at fault as I am the victim
and he warned me that under age sex is illegal. He also praise me
for the courage to reveal the unjust done to me.
After all these years, being thrown in jail, get
married, divorced, I lost my dog. Just recently, I made a passing
comment to my waitress that I missed having Sex. She told me to get
a dog.
