The 3 tragedies in a man's life:
1- life sucks
2- job sucks
3- Wife does NOT!
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A man is dying of cancer.
His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you're dying of
AIDS??".
Answer: "So that when I die, no one will dare screw your
mother."
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"I am your Doctor. sorry to inform you that you have a brain
problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right.
The left part has nothing right in it,
and the right has nothing left in it"
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YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped.
TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the park!
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Question:
"Why is a waist called a waist?"
Answer: "Because anything above the penis and below the tits
is a waste"
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A lady tells her Man: "I demand good manners in bed,
just like at the dinner table".
The man climbs into bed slowly and says:
"Honey, would you please pass me the vagina?"
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Question:
"what's the similarity between a good-looking, faithful,
rich husband who satisfies his wife sexually every night and Bin
Laden?"
Answer:
"BOTH CANNOT BE FOUND"
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Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage as they finally
realised with wisdom that for 60 grams of sausage,
it is not worth buying the whole pig.
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70 yr old man asks his wife "do u feel sad when u see me running
behind young girls?"
Wife replied "No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't
drive it"
A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date. Her mother warned
her...."1st he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts,
you'll enjoy; than he want to go on top. You must not allow it so
as not to disgrace our family name"
Next day girl told Mom, "Everything happen exactly as you
predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and
disgraced his family"
A white couple had a black baby....
The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.
Husband: Why the baby black?
Wife: U hot, I hot, baby burnt..!
Wife: "Honey, what are you looking for?'
Husband: "Nothing.
Wife: "Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for
an hour?
Husband:" I was looking for the expiry date!"
Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white?
Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago,
you should be thankful that you are not barking!!!
