There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long
business trip. He thought he'd try to get his wife something to
keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like
the idea of her screwing around.
So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking
around. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something
special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man
behind the counter. He explained his situation to the old
man.
"Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We
have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't
know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except ..."
said the old man, and then he stopped.
"Except what?" asked the businessman. "C'mon, tell me! I need
something!"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo
dick,'" the old man said.
"So what's up with this voodoo dick?" the businessman asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden
box carved with strange symbols. He opened it and there lay a very
ordinary-looking dildo.
The old man began to demonstrate how to use the voodoo dick. He
pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door."
The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and
started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the
vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door
could split, the old man said, "Voodoo dick, get back in your
box!"
The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there,
quiescent once more.
The businessman said, "I'll take it!"
He took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and
that to use it, all she had to do was say, "Voodoo dick, my
pu.ssy."
He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was
gone.
After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny.
Then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said
"Voodoo dick, my pu.ssy!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and
started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced
before.
After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to
pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried
and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had
forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to
the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got
in the car and started to drive to the hospital.
On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and
she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and
then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she
explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was
stuck in her pu.ssy, and wouldn't stop screwing.
The officer looked at her for a second, didnt believe her and then
said, "Yea, right. Voodoo dick my ASS!"
