Originally posted by soleachip:
[b]Level 1:
It's 11pm on a weeknight and you've had a few beers. You get up to
leave because you have to work the next day, but one of your
friends buys you another round. One of your unemployed friends. You think to
yourself, Oh come on, this is
silly, as long as I get seven hours of sleep, I'm
cool.
Level 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20
minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again,
but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now
you're thinking, Hey! I'm out
with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good
times! Besides, as long as I get five hours of sleep, I'm
cool.
Level 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for whiskey. You've just
spent 20 minutes arguing for artificial turf. And now you're
thinking, Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever
seen!
At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you
buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you
like his face. You start developing drinking fantasies [like, "Hey
fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever.
We could do it. Tommy, you could cook."]
But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger... and he's
buying. And you're thinking, Oh,
come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours of sleep... and
a complete change of blood, I'm cool.
Level 4:
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you
ordered a bottle of Jack and Coke. You are artificial turf! This
time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end
of the bar just because you don't like his face. And now you're
thinking, Our busboy is the best-looking man I've ever seen.
You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown
out, and one of you knows an afterhours bar. And here, at level
four, you actually think to yourself, Well... as long as I'm only going to get a
few hours of sleep anyway, I might as well STAY UP ALL NIGHT! Yeah!
That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting
looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it
work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours of sleep
tomorrow, I'm cool.
Level 5:
Five in the morning. After unsuccessfully trying to get your money
back at the tattoo parlor ["But I don't even know anybody named
Ruby!"], you and your friends wind up across the state line in a
bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning.
It's the kind of place where even the devil would say, "Uh, I gotta
turn in. I gotta be in Hell at nine. I've got that brunch with
Hitler, I can't miss that."
At this point, you're all drinking some kind of blue liquor, like
something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches
comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry
that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "We're
driving to Vegas!" -- and passes out. You crawl outside for air and
then you hit the worst part of level five, the sun. You weren't
expecting that, were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in
daylight, and you see people on their way to work or jogging. And
they look at you and they know. And they say, "Who's Ruby?"
Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like
a victory -- like you've beat the night. But if you're over 30,
then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer
then, "I swear, I will never do this again as long as I live!" And
some of us have that little addition... "and this time, I mean
it!"
[/b]
I've learned never to get to Stage 5 again! the sun is indeed
God's flashlight! lol
