APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ____________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest
authority in my life for the following period:
Time of return __________________
Date: Time of departure: NOT to exceed:_________________
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain
from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even
speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing
below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I
consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning
for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol
allowance.
I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my
girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me
the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total
_____________
Locations to be visited ________________________
Females with whom conversation ________________________
is permitted
IMPORTANT STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact
permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one
hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of
this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of
the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in
our relationship, and I agree its not me. I promise to abide by
your rules & regulations.
I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates
& flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit
cards whenever you wish to do so.
I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should
I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not
pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth
discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise
not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I
will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your
face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none
compared to my BETTER half), the above information is
correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ______________
Request is: APPROVED / DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut
permission slip below and carry at all times.
.........................................................................................................................
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the
following period of time: ____________________
Date: Time of departure: Time of return: ______________
Signed Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: ________________
Location: From: To:_____________
Location: From: To:_____________
Location: From: To:______________[/b]
